Dating Sucks

I started dating a year ago, give or take, not the point of this post. Throughout this year, I have found, that most men are looking for the “ideal” woman.

Independent, but not strong-willed.

Fun, but not wild.

Quirky, but not eccentric

Brazen, but not blunt.

Financially stable, but not secure.

Which in turn tells me, men are looking for a woman who is financially stable, but still relies on their support. They want a woman, who can tell other people what to do, but submit to their wishes and demands. They want a woman who is fun and outgoing, but only within their liking and control. When they decide they want to change something about you, you better do what they want or tell you! What the actual?

Ladies! When did we become such submissive beings? Did we begin to lose ourselves so much, that we are blinded by who we are told to become?

What happened to being and INDEPENDENT woman?

Recently I was called an alcoholic because I can drink a bottle of red wine, in an evening/night. I’m not saying I won’t be extremely tipsy, or that I won’t regret it in the morning, but I CAN do it. This fine specimen, then proceeded to tell me, that he only saw his “ex” have two drinks. My face I’m sure expressed my confusion, as I asked, “Like, two drinks, when she drank?” Nope. Two drinks the entire time they were together. Like, five years. Insane right?

Don’t get me wrong, I have friends who don’t like to drink or don’t care for the taste of alcohol. However, the lingering look I received after this conversation, left in in a bit of disgust. Like, who do you think you are? Do you think you are going to tell a girl they can’t have a drink, or limit the number of drinks they intake? Then the girl actually listens and does as you command?!?! When did this happen?!?!

The next hit came as a real shocker, not. I’m lying. I couldn't care less. You’re going to love this little tidbit, at least those who are feeling this post will.

So, we continue to date/talk, even though I am still confused about what innuendo lie behind the “two drinks conversation. This gentleman says he is going for a guy’s night. I’m like cool deal, have fun, everyone needs a break to hang out with their friends every now and then. As the night progresses, he proceeds to ask me to drive to where he is. Umm… No. One It’s ten o’clock at night. Two, I am in bed, not even close to having clothes picked out, or hair and make up done. Three, what happened to “guys night?” I ignore his requests and go to sleep. This is where it gets interesting…

The next day I get up, go to church, and receive a text, that afternoon, about how; “It’s not going to work, he still wants to be friends, I’m a great woman, just not the one for him, and how he wanted to tell me this to my face, but just didn’t know when he would get the chance to see me again.” Umm… I’m sorry what?! How random is that? I’m like, “okay cool.” Not really upset at all, life goes on. Then I begin to question, like what was it? I know I am a bit much, I have a big personality, but I was curious. The reasons are as follow,

1.      I smoke (mostly when I drink) but, he dips. So… oh, and he sometimes smokes when he drinks as well. (Side note, I haven’t had a cigarette in two months) I know that doesn’t sound like a big achievement, but I feel like it is.

2.      2. My finances. I have been divorced for a few years. After which, I had to purchase a new vehicle. My credit was wrecked. My ex ran up credit cards, had a vehicle repossessed, and allowed our house (that I gave him, afterwards) go into foreclosure.  I was in the middle of finishing my four-year degree. I did what I could with little, to no help along the way.

This ehem, lets call him what he is, had the audacity to tell me that my credit, from three years ago mind you, scared him. So, that was another reason, he didn’t see us working out. Like what?!

When did men decide they could look down on a woman, because of their past? When did men decide they could dictate what women do and who they want to become? I thought we left that in the 50’s? I’m just in shock that there are men who think saying things like this, is okay. Like, what women have you been around?! Good luck dude. Actually, no!

Ladies stand up and be more! Be proud of who you are, who you have become, how far along, you’ve come to get there and NEVER let a MAN make you think or feel like you are less than! Don’t let a man tell you what you can or cannot do. You are worth more. You should feel valued and appreciated. Your voice, thoughts, and opinions matter. Don’t let them be silenced.